Three Years Ago Tomorrow

Three years ago tomorrow, Dad

You finally looked at peace.

Smooth skin across your forehead,

Gentle smile resting on your lips.

It was a day of so many things.

The day the world shut down.

The day I finally looked around

And felt that I was free.

But freedom is a fickle thing.

That shows its many sides.

On the one hand, it said,

Go forth, you lovely beast.

And live your lovely life.

On the other, it said,

Snowflakes melt, you silly girl.

Now you’re all alone.

Goodbye.

And so, I melted, and I raged,

And I fell, and then I died.

Only to push myself back out again

Right through the birth canal.

Back to life, a lonely girl.

But not sadness alone.

A seedling of a woman,

Whom I sensed I’d always known.

A woman, nay, a lover.

A lover of her own heart.

Who smiled with

Warmth and tenderness,

At what she sensed

Was waiting.

For on the other side

Of tears was pleasure.

Bathing me with light.

Singing softly to me,

Be ready for delight…

So when you left that

Cold March day,

The day you set me free.

I walked toward you,

Then to myself.

You dared me to be me.

Thank you, my dear father.

Though I didn’t always know.

What went on between your eyes.

What made you cry or glow.

But I do know this,

Sweet man with hazel eyes.

You wished something for me.

Something that you couldn't have,

Or feared too much to be.

And you blessed me,

And you loved me.

And you are me.

And we are we.

And I will make you proud.